Review: Please Don't Touch Anything

Table of Contents

Quick Info

Gore & Brutality Magic Sex Civility Religious Objections
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Additional Notes
This game's soundtrack is available!


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Sooo tempting...

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Is there a manual for this thing?

General Information

Genre:Puzzle ESRB Rating:NR - Not Rated
License:Commercial My Rating:Teenagers (13+)
Played on:Martha
Available from: Gamer's Gate, Steam
Soundtrack:Availble as DLC

General Notes

Everyone loves to solve cryptic puzzles, and this is the main point of the game. At the same time, you're not really supposed to be messing with this odd little box.

Evidently, Pandora's infamous mistake didn't teach us anything.

Story Overview

The story is a remarkably simple set up for the events that follow.

Your coworker needs to leave their workstation for a moment, and they ask you to handle things in their absence. As they leave they give you one instruction: please don't touch anything.

Especially not that big, inviting, red button...

Gameplay Overview

As you probably guessed, the point of the game is to push the button and then figure out what the different controls do from there. Most of the time you just click on buttons that the machine produces, but sometimes you'll need to drag things to specific places.

There are a lot of possible endings, and all of them have little clues strewn about the work area or even other endings. It's all about what you press, hit or mess with and in what order.


8-Bits is all you need
The game's pixelated style is really all it needs, and it works quite well as the various parts of the strange box rearrange themselves. The music is just as simple, but it fits perfectly with the rest of the game.

Over 20 possible endings
This little box can do a lot of things. Of course, the vast majority of these things involve destroying all life as we know it. Several outcomes reference other games or pop-culture characters though, so there is some humor to the disasters.

Extremely simple concept, but there's a lot to see
Many actions result in something else opening up, and the only way to figure out what things do is to keep pressing more buttons until something works. There are a lot of clues strewn about though, so if you're clever enough to put the hints to their correct puzzles, then there's an ending waiting for you.

Some puzzles can be brute forced, though that's not quite as rewarding as figuring it out on your own.


Some hints aren't clear
There are a lot of different things going on and many different ways to interact with the mysterious box. While there are a lot of hints to guide you, some of them are almost too cryptic. For example, one of them is the name of a famous mathematician. The problem is, he's more well known by a different name, so you're probably going to need to visit Google to find out what the clue was talking about.

Concerns and Issues

Dark / Occult references
Many of the endings (or their triggers) include references to the occult. In particular, the All Seeing Eye is VERY commonly seen in this game, as are a few darker symbols such as pentagrams and the number 666. One ending also has blood drip from the monitor as it displays a creepy, distorted face.

The fetus/organ thing
One of the things that can happen is rather disturbing, even when compared to everything else that happens. A bloody thing that can really only be described as a fetus or organ comes out of the machine along with several bloody growths. You'll need to quickly bash all of them with a hammer until they go splat, but if you're not fast enough, blood running down the machine will pool on the reset switch and eventually push trigger it, resetting the game.