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Review: Super 3-D Noahs Ark

At a Glance

ESRB Rating: NR - Not Rated
My Rating: Ages 6 and up
Genre: First Person Shooter
License: Commercial
Fun-O-Meter:
Release Year: 1994
Review Published On: February 3rd, 2021
Played on: Thaddeus

Available on:

Windows
Linux
MacOS

Available from:

Humble Store
Itch.IO
Steam

Areas of Concern:
  • Very mild violence


How to Save and Pause:

There is no autosave, but you can save your game at any time during a level via the pause menu. To bring up this menu, press ESC.

Time needed per session:

Id suggest giving yourself about fifteen minutes per session, as this lets you get into the flow of the game and make some progress.

Does this game pose issues for Christian players?

No - this is a great game for Christians
Although this game plays like any other First Person Shooter, youre scattering feed instead of firing bullets. Thus, enemies who are defeated simply fall asleep instead of dying.

Screenshots

[view screenshot]
Putting animals to sleep

[view screenshot]
A little trivia now and then never hurt

[view screenshot]
Dancing with Elephants



Game Overview

Ive encountered a great many ridiculous games in my 30+ years of gaming, but I really wasnt prepared for this one. So, to begin this unusual review, lets take a brief look back in time and talk about how this wonderfully absurd game came about.

Originally, this was going to be a video game adaptation of Hellraiser. Seriously: the founder of the family-friendly Wisdom Tree brand was a big fan of the 1987 horror movie, and wanted to make a game based it. So Wisdom Tree found itself licensing the engine used for Wolfenstein 3D in order to make their game fairly easily. However, development issues arose early on, and this eventually led the game being shuffled from system to system until the developers settled on a DOS and SNES release. Unfortunately for Wisdom Tree, id software released Doom during this time, and so games using the older, less capable, Wolfenstein 3D engine were being overshadowed. Also, by this point Wisdom Trees management had started questioning the impact that releasing a violent horror game would have on their brand. So, the project was retooled into the Christian game we have today. It mostly saw release in Christian bookstores, and ultimately had abysmal sales. Today its something of a novelty with its own little fandom, and its been rereleased on Steam using the upgraded ECWOLF engine.

The story of Super Noahs Ark opens late into the famous Arks voyage. Its been afloat for months, as the Flood has yet to run its course. But, now that the journey is almost over, some of the animals have become restless and are causing trouble throughout the ship. This is where you come in. As Noah, youll wander the many halls of the Ark, using a series of increasingly bizarre slingshots to scatter feed around each animal. Once their bellies are full, theyll just go back to sleep, and things will settle down again. But this isnt an easy task, as the rambunctious animals are going to kick, spit, and even throw coconuts at the patriarch.

Now, since this game was made using the Wolfenstein 3D engine, you can expect the gameplay to be similar. For example, the levels are completely flat, theres scoring, and most of your weapons draw from the same pool of ammunition. But things really change beyond those superficial bits. Damage is now calculated on a per-hit basis instead of the elaborate system used in Wolfenstein 3D. This makes the combat more reliable, and youre less likely to get instantly defeated by something that snuck up on you. It still can happen, you can just do something about it now. There are also two very powerful special weapons -- a coconut launcher and a watermelon launcher -- that use their own ammunition.

Unlike vanilla Wolfenstein 3D, theres also an automap feature and an item that reveals the entire level map if you can find it. Of course, being a Christian game, you can also find pickups that present you with trivia questions about the Biblical story of Noahs Ark. Answering them correctly provides bonus points, healing, and extra animal feed, so keeping an eye out for them can really help you out in a difficult situation.

As crazy and weird as this game is, it turned out to be a lot of fun. The people behind it knew what they were doing, and they made something that they should be proud of, even though it was a bit of a flop during its original release. If you like First Person Shooters, and Id wager a lot of gamers like you do, Id definitely recommend this cheerful romp. Its more than worth the entry fee.

Points of Interest

30 levels of animal feeding fun

Thats thirty levels total, not necessarily the number of levels youll see in any given playthrough. This is because each episode has a different number of levels, and there are a handful of secret levels for you to discover.

Bible trivia ranges from easy to hard

Christian games love to include trivia, even when it doesnt exactly make sense for the there to be any. This can also be a problem if the trivia questions are too easy or too obscure, and Id say that Super Noahs Ark manages to balance them out pretty well. They can range from easy questions that most children can get right (eg, How many times did Noah release the dove?) to unexpectedly tricky (eg, How old was Noah when the flood came?). Theres even an achievement for answering these right, so be prepared to read up if youre going to try and earn them all.

Hidden collectibles and secrets

Wolfenstein 3D had you collect random treasure for extra points. This has been tweaked into locating different types of fruits. Its still for bonus points, but theres also an achievement for finding all of them. Additionally, each level is peppered with loads of secret areas for you to find and explore. These become increasingly important as you progress in the game, as regular pickups start becoming rarer the farther along you get.

The religious content doesnt ruin it

I know that a lot of people wont like the idea of playing a Christian game simply because of the religious content. In a lot of these games, the need to shoehorn in Christian references gets in the way of just having fun, but thankfully, Super Noahs Ark isnt one of those games. Only the setting and Bible trivia questions rely on religion, and you need to deliberately collect the trivia items in order to interact with them. The rest of the game is a fun and lighthearted FPS.

Steam community features

This Steam rerelease comes complete with 27 achievements and a set of Steam trading cards. Some of the achievements are simply earned by completing levels, but the majority are earned by finding all of the secrets, fruits, and other surprises that are scattered throughout the Ark. A few of the achievements require you to play through an entire episode in one long session, so plan ahead if youre going to go for those.

Concerns and Issues

Its not really violent

Just to clarify again: youre feeding the animals, not shooting them. They also clearly fall asleep when defeated, with little zzZZs floating above them. On the other hand, while Noah does get spit on or kicked around, his face in the HUD never becomes bloody or bruised -- just worried.

Now, all of this said, theres a good chance that your children will still refer to things like shooting the animals, killing them, or getting killed by them. This is just the wording that gamers end up using, likely because this is what happens in the majority of games.